Tag Archives: autism hour

Autism Life, Day Out, Toilet Training

Key to the City!

After the day I had today, I am officially getting the key to the City. A blue key that will open doors for us.

Literally!

We are in tier 4, also known as, absolutely-no-where-to-go zone. We had to get out, so realising that every park was going to be heaving I just said “stuff it”, pulled on my mask and hoped the outdoor air would blow any new covid mutations in the opposite direction.

It went well.

The boys scooted, scaring innocent bystanders with their Tommy Hawk style swerves, making them jump the required two meters in distance. I sweated as I ran to try keep up, screaming “STOP!!!!” in the same amplification of voice and tone as shouting at a thief running off with my bag! Arms and legs waving like a frantic lady unable to control her brood.

I make a mental note that Ugg boots were not the right shoe for this type of occasion!

But this was the norm for us. There was no stress, just fresh air and stares from the public who are not use to our unique family quirks.

The playground was crowded, but with sufficient space. So everything went smoothly, from shouts of “RHYS, DONT PUSH THE LITTLE GIRL” to “RHYS GO” when he had been sitting at the top of the slide for five minutes, a queue (not socially distanced!) formed behind him. He didn’t care!

It was all going extremely great until, “TOILET!”

I didn’t have the travel toilet with me, so feeling like we had been swinging and sliding for a sufficient length of time, I summoned the troops and we scooted up the hill to the amenities.

THESE TOILETS ARE LOCKED FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY said the sign.

Little do they know what is safe, when your six year old is screaming “TOILET” and does not do such things behind a bush!

There was only one option. “READY, STEADY, SCOOT” I shouted, and the boys pushed off from the ground and scooted like I have never seen before. The half mile race commenced. They swerved around the ankles of the slow walkers, dodged ducks and even did a few bunny hops over the not so smooth parts.

At the end of path, the transition into the car was record breaking, and the spinning of the car wheels, as we took off, made me feel young again.

But we didn’t make it!

The car seat was the worst hit, and Rhys struggled to accept the situation, crying “Jeans wet!” until I got him cleaned up and changed.

So I now have a key in the post on the way to me. A magic key that will open every disabled toilet in Britain.

Not sure about you, but that is a pretty magic key in my opinion.

🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑

RADAR keys are available to people with disabilities and can be purchased from your local council, www.disability.co.uk or many other distributors.

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Autism Life

A Funny Face!

Autism is …

… your child never naturally engaging or joining in. It is when you try everything to get them involved, but realise you need to set your expectations lower. Set them at basement level, because then, the only way is up!

“Let’s do face painting” shouts my little girl, bringing me a old box of face-paint she has found in the toy box.
I open the box, it is slightly hardened, but after a few drops of water, we are ready for princess faces or super hero villains.

“Sit back” she says, holding up a blue coated paintbrush to my face. I close my eyes, firstly for relaxation, but quickly notice the need for safety!

It is a win-win situation. My little girl gets to paint, and I get a free facial. The paintbrush glides over my face and I feel tingles throughout my head. Lush! I could sit here all afternoon. Maybe when she is done with the painting we can move onto playing hairdresser, or she can run her dolls feet across my back in an imaginary royal parade.

These are the parenting moments I live for.

I am however pulled out of my relaxed state by laughter. Opening my eyes I am met with two big blue eyes and a mop of blonde hair. My daughter has been pushed to the side, while my son takes amusement from my newly painted face. Tbe crazy lines and marks are a comical addition to his laid back afternoon.

“Rhys, paint?” I ask, handing him a paintbrush coated with face paint. My expectations of my son joining in are still at rock bottom. Knowing from past experience that face painting is not something on his ‘fun’ agenda.

Holding out the paintbrush I am immediately proved wrong. He takes it in his hand, bringing it to my face and adding some new lines to my shocking appearance.

He then steps back and giggles.

I have no clue what I look like, but I would put on any funny costume every day to have this type of engagement and interaction.

My expectations have left the basement and are now on cloud 9. I have my son laughing and enjoying a family activity. Something impromptu without the planning, stress and complexity that so many other activities have had.

We keep trying every day, and every now and then we get these moments which come out of nowhere.

Don’t ever give up. Keep trying to engage with your child every day. It will sometimes feel like you are going backwards but one day you will see your child jump a hundred steps forward.

And it is these days we live for. Because they are the successes that give us the strength to keep on going.

😉😉😉😉😉😉☺😉😉

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Autism Life

Cakes Have Eggs!

‘Make salt dough decorations. Paint them and share a photo’

That was the home-schooling work for today!

I was full on dedicated to the task. I don’t think Rhys was as enthusiastic!

I measure out the ingredients – salt, flour and water. Placing them in separate containers ready for my little learner to pour them into the bowl.

Then I pause.

The whole setup looks very like cake baking. What do I call it when I ask Rhys? I can’t lie and say cakes, nothing like adding confusion to a situation.

I decide to be honest.

“Rhys, let’s make dough decorations” I say holding up the wooden spoon as a prop.

He happily walks with me to the kitchen. I have been clever (not an amateur at engaging with Rhys) and have ignored the Christmas decoration cutters, opting for numbers.

Numbers win every time.

“Rhys, pour flour” I say, helping him with the bowl. He pours it into the mixing bowl and lifts the wooden spoon to stir.
“Now salt” I add, handing him the second bowel.
He adds it to the mixture adding his own commentary, “Stir, stir, stir!”

I pour the water in and hope for a bit of sensory engagement, with finger kneading the dough. But as I mix Rhys immediately jumps down from the step.

“Rhys, come stir” I reiterate.
“Eggs!” He shouts back, pointing to the egg basket.
“No eggs. Dough Rhys”
“Eggs!”

I then look to the dough and back to my son’s face.

“No eggs, Rhys” I say once again.
He looks back at me, turns around and leaves.

I kneed the dough and start to cut out some numbers. Then I pause.

My son has buggered off, why am I doing his homework?

The then realise that I never actually turned on the oven. I must have somewhere deep down known the outcome of this.

I gather up the mixture and toss it in the food waste bin.

Screw that. Time for a cup of tea!

☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕

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Autism Life

Timber!

The tree got the brunt of it!

Unfortunately it was one of those scenarios where he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn’t do anything, except stand upright in his normal way and sparkle and shine his decorations. It was just bad luck that one second he was upright and the next he was face planting the carpet.

The Gruffalo was to blame. Eight repetitions of The Gruffalo to be exact! Probably seven times too many!

I know my error as soon as my words of “Last Go” and “All finished” had been ignored. The over stimulation of an electronic flashing screen had resulted in an immediate drop to the floor and a scream a deducible too high.

I clasped my hands over my ears in the same way my son does when it is too much to handle.

It was too much to handle!

I watched my son scream the words “Gruffalo, Gruffalo, Gruffalo” over and over again, knowing we had passed the line, and it was just a matter of waiting it out.

He started running back and forth towards an irrelevant destination. Frantic that the bright-image-presenting box was now a blank screen and his head remained full of want.

I sat there supporting his situation. Cuddles available for when he was ready to accept them, and friendly comforting words constantly coming from my mouth.

It happened so quickly.

I turned for a second and out of the corner of my eye I saw it evolve one frame at a time. The tree fell forward in slow motion, its tinsel in tact while the star and baubles clung on for dear life. Once it was over I looked to my son. Rhys stood with the evidence of two baubles in his hand. He had been caught in the act of destruction.

But a fallen tree does not bring back the Gruffalo, and in my head, I knew we just had to push past and let the meltdown subside. So I sat on the carpet repeating “Rhys, it is going to be ok” and offering cuddles, which just got constantly rejected.

It took an hour. But we both got through it. A lesson learnt. A new plan to be formulated going forward.

I made the wrong choice today. Day one of isolation was always going to be a steep learning curve, and trying to work full time, while occupying a six year old was always going to have its compromises. However six hours straight of the Gruffalo is not the solution.

I know that now.

Only nine days to go.

At least this time (unlike March) I have an end date in mind.

Suggestions and options for telly-free entertainment gladly accepted.

I think I need all the help I can get!

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

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Autism Life

A Song and Dance with Santa!

We stand in a large room, the Christmas tunes are ringing out of a speaker in the corner. Rhys was happy to enter the building, and seems calm, but still clutches his ears with his hands, slightly anxious.

Santa visits are never on the agenda for our little boy. The lights and loud jingles, followed by a stranger in a bright suit, are not a recipe of joy for my little boy – a perfect sensory overload disaster! Previous attempts have seen complete abandonment, with tears and screaming due to it all being too much. Other children waiting excitedly in line, while I hold back the tears and dodge kicks and slaps from my son who is terrified of the complexity of the experience. An experience that every other child looks forward to, is something we have left off the past Christmas to-do lists.

But for some reason, here we are. Waiting our turn to see the big fat man. We are giving it another go.

If Rhys doesn’t want to, that is ok. We have learnt over the years to try new things and have realistic expectations of them not coming to fruition.

“Come on through, please” says the kind blonde haired lady, and I follow my husband as I hold Rhys’ hand.

The room is quiet and calm, with lights flickering in the corners. A massive fireplace is in the centre of the wall and the jolly, cookie loving chap is waiting for us in his chair.

“Ho, ho, ho. Hello Rhys” he says, as we notice some chairs placed socially distanced, two meters away from Santa.

As two of my children take their seats, smiling at the guy who is going to make all their dreams come true, my little Rhys shuttle runs back and forward across the room.

“Hello, Rhys” says Santa, from his seat by the fire.
Rhys stops and looks up through the bushy man’s beard. “Head, shoulders, knees and toes” he shouts, immediately commencing with the song by touching his head with his two hands.

Santa stands up, and Rhys grabs both his hands, lifting them upwards towards Santa’s head, prompting him to join in with the song. The sight is comical, Santa singing and copying the actions of my son, a sight so special to a family who does not do Santa. As the song comes to an end, Rhys then starts to spring around the little room, jumping forward with both feet in a sort of bunny hop.

“Ho ho, I can jump too!” says Santa, and as I stand on the side, I watch a full grown man with his belly full of jelly, mimic my little boy. My other two children join in, and it doesn’t take long before all six of us are bouncing around the room in a scenario no one has ever seen presented on any Christmas card!

Today demonstrated to me that it is people who make the difference. Rhys didn’t need Santa or fancy lights or presents. He just wanted someone to join him in his jumping and songs.

And today that person was Santa 🎅

Thank you to Caerphilly Miners Centre for the Community for hosting the big jolly chap. You have not only made one little boy’s Christmas, but you have made a mum’s Christmas magical too. Because there are no words to describe seeing my son interact with Santa in his very own way, but even better to have Santa so naturally interact back.

🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅

…and Santa, there will be a beer and mince pie waiting for you in a couple of weeks time.

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