Category Archives: Speech

Teaching Judo where Inclusivity is about Adaption

I had four children in front of me. Three boys and a little girl. All were roughly the same in age, around five and six years old?

As I stood in front of them, I hoped that my judo knowledge would be sufficient or at least enough to con a group of young children.

I was nervous but didn’t want to show it.

“Who wants to learn a judo throw?” I shouted with enthusiasm.

The little girl shouted “yes!” with excitement, and the boy next to her joined in, but the other two sat in silence. Not a sound was muttered.

There are many reasons a child will not talk. It can be from speech delays, autism, anxiety or even selective mutism. The way we see the world and develop is different for every one of us.

And from my experience I knew this.

I knew that in this setting I was not going to get a verbal confirmation of the desire to learn, and as I demonstrated the throw, I immediately knew that a different method of teaching was needed.

Instructing with words and then looking for a verbal recognition was not a result I could bank on.

So I paused.

I knelt down to the level of my audience, and I held up my hand.

“Who’s in?” I shouted, and waited for the non verbal response. My more confident students jumped up and slapped out the strongest five fives they could muster, while the two, who were a bit quieter, watched.

I crawled forward and held up my hand. I smiled at the boy in front of me and he smiled back, lifting his hand and tapping out his response. The fourth then followed with his agreement in being part of the group, his high five a bit more reluctant, but his message was clear, he was ready.

I then paired them up. I took each by hand and put them in position. I placed my hand on the mat to show where to stand, and even nudged their feet in the right directions – another form of non verbal communication.

When all four children started to tire and their attention spans drifted, I announced “Last one in line gets thrown by me!” in the hope that they would fear it and line up immediately.

But the opposite happened.

They all wanted to be thrown.

Their cheeky smiles were across their faces. Their bums wiggling in anticipation.

So the lesson changed once again. It adapted to meet the desires of the group.

After half an hour I gave the last set of high fives and saw a change in four young children.

Not one of their throws were perfect. But each one of their smiles was present.

And that’s all I needed to make my day.

Get to know your students. Get to know those around you. Every one is different. Everyone has a different ability. But everyone can learn. It is just up to us to adapt our methods to make it possible.

That’s inclusivity.

Autism Calendar: The Key to Daily Communication

Rhys didn’t want to go to school today.

He wanted to go swimming!

“No School!” he shouted, his words clear and audible as he desperately wanted to get his point across, “Swimming”, he added.

As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Rhys’ chanting of “No School!” continuing with every step, he approached the wall.

“School” he said, placing his finger on the chart.

“Yes Rhys, school. Then judo. Then swimming” I confirmed, touching each picture in turn, “Two sleeps”

It didn’t make him happier, but it made it clearer.

The calendar is a new addition to our home. It is a communication tool to help my son understand what is happening that day, and what is planned for the rest of the week.

Because Rhys actually likes school. He jumps in the taxi every morning and runs into the class each day. It is the understanding of what is happening that day that creates the anxiety. The fixation of an idea in his mind is what is hard to change it is what creates the tension.

This calendar is the key.

Well I sure hope it is!


The calendar we have used is available to purchase here.

To read more about the use of schedules you can read a step by step guide or explore further strategies across other pages on our site.

Change Your Question!

Three years ago there was one question I asked every person I met, every professional and every support group. It is a question I now get asked all the time, and a question which I see asked on support groups every week.

That question is “When did your child start to talk?”

The answers are always varied. You get the one word responses detailing the age of people’s children, and then you get more specifics, like “My son could only say one word a year ago, and now he doesn’t stop” or “My daughter just started talking in sentences” or “I’m still waiting, my son is nine next week”.

Human nature means we look for the answer we want to hear. If your child is four, you will be drawn to the response from the kind lady with blonde hair who has written “My son said his first word at four and a half”

You will breathe a sigh of relief and believe that your child will be the same, and in six months time your child will say their first word too. I mean why wouldn’t they, the kind lady on Facebook wrote that her child did? Why would yours be any different?

But your child is different. They move at their own pace and have their own strengths and challenges.

So after waiting six months, and your child has still not said their first word, you will find yourself back on that support group or Google, looking for the next response, possibly coming across a response from dark haired Dan whose son went from non-verbal to talking in sentences at five years old. You relax once again and assume your child will be the same.

You need to stop asking the question “When did your child start talking?” because you are asking a question which has no relevance to your child. You are comparing your child’s circumstances to someone else’s child, one you have never met and know nothing about.

I know what it is like. I have been there. I asked the same question. I wanted my son to start talking, because in my head, that would make everything OK. If he talked, everything would be solved!

It’s not that easy. But there are ways to make it manageable. And that starts by asking the right questions!

Change your perspective and change the question.

Ask, “How did you get your child to communicate?”

Communication is so much wider than verbal speech. A child may be able to talk, but has not yet developed the perceptive language to associate words with real word objects. Similarly a child may not be able to speak verbally, but they are able to understand language and communicate with a device, pictures or sign language.

If your child drags you by the hand to the fridge and points to an apple, they are telling you they are hungry and want a snack. They can do that without saying a word.

The moment my son signed the word “more” to me with Makaton while blowing bubbles, we were communicating even before verbal language was possible.

I cried buckets over the worry about my son’s speech. I asked everyone the question “When did your child start to talk?” But trust me on this, none of the answers to that question were any help to us, they just upset me more. They set up expectations that were never met.

Forget about getting your child to talk, and focus on getting them to communicate. Ask the question “How did you get your child to communicate?” The answers you get to that question will allow you to implement changes, improve engagement, and move towards having a conversation with your child.

The answers to that question will give you strategies and tools to help you increase engagement with your child, help you ask what your child what they want and need, and also let them tell you how they are feeling or what they are thinking.

All before they even say a word.

Speech is the last bit of communication in the process. Forget about getting your child to talk, and focus on communication. This switch in mindset will move your child through the steps to communication and finally speech. And if they don’t reach speech, you will have a selection of different ways to communicate.

Because at the end of the day, we all want to just have a conversation with our child. But that communication is not always verbal.

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Click here to read how I got my son to communicate.

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The Communication Pyramid

The one question that parents, with non-verbal children, always ask other parents is, “When did your child start to talk?”

I asked this question hundreds of times, to parents in my social circle, to professionals and in user community forums. Each time, I got a range of answers:
“Lots of children have speach delays”
“His older brother is probably speaking for him”
“My son didn’t talk and then just started speaking in sentences”

And the list went on. I kept reassuring myself that there was nothing wrong and that Rhys would speak in his own time.

After months of speach therapy and very slow progress, I was still extremely confused. I wanted to know the timelines for getting Rhys to talk, but it was all unknown and no one told me what to expect.

After loads of reading, I finally came across what I call “The Communication Pyramid”. As soon as I saw this, it all started to make sense.

The Communication Pyramid

Every person who learns to talk goes through different stages. We all start at the bottom of the pyramid being non-verbal and unaware of our surroundings. This was where Rhys was at 2 years old. Totally in his own world, zero sound and totally unengaged.

A child needs to move through all the levels of the pyramid to start communicating verbally. Some are quicker than others, and some (like Rhys) need the extra support to progress.

After seeing this image it made me realise that there were progress markers that would allow me to track against. Rhys was not going to wake up one morning and start speaking. He needed to move through the different stages.

In the case of Rhys, he was non-verbal at 2 years old. I distinctly remember that it took a lot of work on the first stage of the pyramid to even get him making a verbal sound. It was only when he was 3 years old that I heard a sound from him. Not a word but just a vocalisation. It took another year before his first word and then one more before we started to get a few two word phrases. We are still on the journey, but at least now I have something to track this against. It is a long road and not something that is going to happen over night.

The understanding and following of instruction is progressive. He started to understand certain instructions from 3 years old, and this is improving all the time.

I still cannot imagine asking Rhys “How was your day?” and getting a response. Every day after school I just need to assume it went well by the smile on his face.

I have no idea of any aspects of his day, or the names of any children in his class. I have to count on teachers letting me know of any issues, or his non verbal cues as to whether he is upset or unhappy.

I know it will come and it will be something I have waited years for. I am lucky in that Rhys is moving up the pyramid and through the continued hard work we all put in, he will reach the top in his own time. But we need to remember, you dont need to reach the top of the pyramid to communicate. It is a communication pyramid, where communication starts from the lowest layer even when words are not involved.

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