Tag Archives: parenting

Autism Strategy, Makaton

Makaton: Good Morning

The pain and illness that has consumed our house for the last forty-eight hours has passed. After a good night’s sleep, I stretch my arms upwards and breathe in the new day.

I pick up my phone and focus on a new goal. At Rhys’ annual review a few days ago, we discussed the use of Makaton and how visual signs are a good method of aiding verbal understanding. Rhys is a visual learner, so I was keen to get started on a way to enhance our communication and develop his understanding.

‘Good Morning’, seamed like a good start to my Makaton journey. I type it into Google and watch a lady demonstrate the sign. It is a simple thumbs up and swoop across the shoulders. “I’ve got this” I say to myself, holding up my thumb and swooping my hand from one shoulder to another, in confirmation of knowing the sign.

I know that Rhys is one step ahead of me in learning Makaton, after his experience of it in school. So I have a positive feeling that this is going to be a good move forward for us.

I can hear the chatter of Rhys next door as he occupies himself with his numbers. He must have been up for about an hour, but is happily entertained, and for once has not pounced on top of me in the commencement of a game of hide and seek.

Walking into his room, I crouch down in front of him. Previous multiple attempts of prompting for a “Good morning” have been semi successful, but never clear or freely spoken. So I am excited to see how this works out.

Looking into Rhys eyes, I get his attention. “Good Morning” I say, holding my thumb up and passing my hand across my chest, in sync with the two words as I speak them.

“Good Morning” replies Rhys in words more clearly than I have ever heard him say. It is spontaneous, with no prompting. A response I would have received from one of my friends hearing my greeting.

What a great start to the morning. It is definitely going to be a good one. I immediately run back to my bedroom and shake awake my husband. I explain the makaton and Rhys’ response.

“What’s the action” he asks. I show him the sign, and he mimicks me, confirming it back to himself.

Kneeling down by Rhys, he looks at him and holding up his thumb says, “Good Morning,” followed with the swoop across his chest.

“Good Morning” says Rhys.

It could have been coincidence, or maybe the Makaton had helped, prompting the clear communication. It doesn’t matter. Rhys communicated back to us without prompting.

I am excited for this new goal. An additional way of building communication with my son.

For anyone wanting to come on the Makaton journey with us, I want to introduce “Makaton with Jessie”. Rhys’ little sister who is joining in with the plan. Because as Jessie puts it, “We are a team!”

I think she is doing a pretty good job. What do you think?

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Autism Life

A Pain That Cannot Be Communicated!

I remember a little girl looking up at her mum with sad eyes and saying, “Mummy, I have a headache in my tummy” her hands hugging her belly in pain.

She didn’t have the words or knowledge to express her pain, so she did it in the only way she knew how.

Fifteen years ago, I lay curled up on a hospital bed in pain, a doctor came up to me and asked me my symptoms. Looking up at him through the slits in my eyes, I mumbled, “I don’t know.” The pain was so great that it emanated throughout my body disguising its source.

Illness comes in many forms and even when you have the ability to express verbally what is wrong, we often cannot find the words or process the detail to do so.

And that’s for those of us who can talk.

So when I picked up Rhys from school this morning, the absence of language and knowledge to express his pain, was only presented with tears and the words, “Sad”.

Rhys is either happy or sad.

Just one or the other. He doesn’t kmow any level in-between.

So I become a detective and look for the non-verbal signs. A feel of his forehead to check for temperature, a look at the colour in his face, the sound of a cough or a sniffle, and the alertness of his character.

There is no temperature, no cough, no sniffles. But he holds his ears and cries, with the words “sad” verbalised between breathes.

He wont eat except for soft food like his white bread sandwich – his crackers and orange remaining untouched.

When we get home, he perks up. The quiet atmosphere is a blessing to his torment. But a flash of the calpol syringe sets him off again. The request to bring something to his mouth brings distress.

I think I have identified the culprit of his pain. His teeth. The new big boy teeth pushing through his tender gums.

But I have been wrong before. I can only guess. I can only make sense of what I see. Because my little boy cannot tell me.

So we will play it safe. Give him another day’s rest and fingers crossed he is ok.

This is where things are tough. Tough for both sides, the struggle to communicate, and the challenge to help.

Forty-eight more hours of cuddles is all I have to offer…

… and sneaky calpol in his squash.

Get well soon little buddy.

❤❤❤❤

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Autism Life

A Cage Fighter or Just a Little Boy?

We are at that stage in my son’s life. That phase where he looks more like a cage fighter than my little blonde haired cutie.

He parts his lips to smile at me, but I am met with a gappy mouth. The loss of his top and bottom two teeth in the space of two weeks, has left him looking like (well if he was ten years older) someone you would not want to meet in a dark alley!

The first tooth loss came and went, with no fuss and was a pretty much a non-event. But things have changed.

Rhys stood this evening and watched his reflection in the window. The massive gap in his teeth reflecting back at him. He continued to babble, phrases from Hey Duggee and Peppa Pig flowing from his mouth in his own little muddled up conversation. He watched his mouth move and the gap flashing back at him from the temporary mirror. As he spoke, the words were interrupted with sobs and gasps for air. Tears flowed down his cheeks, and turning his face to me he whimpered “I’m sad”.

“Why you sad, Rhys?” I asked, trying to take him in my arms, but the comfort wasn’t accepted, and he pulled away, turning to communicate his pain to me with his hands, the words unable to roll off his tongue.

Then placing his fingers to my mouth, he tried to pull at my teeth. His tears rolling further down his face.

“Rhys, teeth will come back” I said, realising his confusion at the change that had happened so quickly. I looked to the table and saw his uneaten dinner. The feeling of biting into his crackers had put him off his food. Lunch lay untouched in the kitchen from earlier, a little boy who couldn’t face the strange sense in his mouth continued looking at me with confusion.

Once Rhys had realised that I understood why he was sad, he let me take him in my arms. He let me cuddle him, while his tears continued to fall.

To my other children the joy of a little fairy bringing a gold coin, in exchange for their teeth, is an event that they will wiggle every second of the day to bring closer. For Rhys, the exchange of money for his pearly whites, is a bizarre concept he is unable to comprehend. To Rhys he has no teeth where there used to be, and that is upsetting.

Rhys’ bottom teeth are coming through, his top gap is just gums. It is a change to the norm, and it will take some time to adapt to.

For now, cuddles are unlimited, while we step through another change in this scary thing called life!

I now just need to go and pull on my fairy wings and grab a bag of chocolate coins. Because chocolate makes everyone a little bit brighter.

🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷

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Autism Strategy, Toilet Training

Top Tips For Toilet Training when your Child is Autistic

Getting your child toilet trained is one of the hardest tasks for any parent, but when your child is autisitc and non-verbal, it provides even greater challenges.

But it can be done, you just need to gather a lot of patience, a support network and realise you are in it for the long haul.

Here are my top tips for toilet training when there is an autistic twist:

  1. Follow the advice and steps from any toilet training search on Google. The general guidance is still the right way to tackle this. This includes reward charts, regular visits to the toilet, positivity and encouragement. Steps 2 to 20 below are the enhancements to the standard process.
  2. Skip the potty and go straight to the toilet. You don’t want your child to finally grasp toilet training and you then have another challenge of ditching the potty. Limiting the number of transitions is key.
  3. Get a toilet seat for comfort and a little step to support your child’s legs and to allow them to get up to the toilet.
  4. Keep to simple language. Use the single word “Toilet” to state what is going to happen. If your child is non-verbal, use the word with the associated Makaton or photo image.
  5. My son would not sit on the toilet. All the guidance on putting them on the toilet morning and night, and getting him use to it etc. didn’t work. His nappy was all he knew and it was working for him, so why change that? We just jumped right in on day 1. It avoided confusion of when to go and although a big change, helped communicate that this was how it was going to be going forward.
  6. Become cleaning experts. Accept that your child is going to have loads of accidents, and this can be for a number of weeks before you even get one sucess in the toilet.
  7. Let your child do whatever they want if they sit on the toilet. Let them watch the iPad while eating a ice-lolly and holding their favourite toy. Remember the main objective, everything else can go out the window.
  8. Get a support network, you can’t do this alone. This includes family, friends, nusery/school and any other professionals. You all need to be following the same plan and sharing what has happened that day to ensure you are working together.
  9. Forget hand washing (I can’t believe I typed that!). But seriously… focus on getting the wees and poos in the toilet. The tasks about pulling their pants up, wiping their own bum, flushing the toilet and washing their hands can come afterwards. Wipe your child’s hands quickly with a wet wipe afterwards and you can also add some antibacterial gel if you want.
  10. Dont force anything. You may want to forcefully put your child on the toilet and shout “PEE!!!!” at them. I’ve been there. After a week or two of battling and struggling, you may find yourself doing this. But don’t. It will set you back weeks. Take a breath and get someone else to step in if you can. Otherwise just walk away and come back calmer.
  11. Run the tap to tempt your child to wee, and make sure you get them to drink loads of liquid.
  12. Get them to blow bubbles when on the toilet – helps with the poos!
  13. Don’t worry about night time. Pull-ups go back on at bedtime, and then pants back on in the morning. Bedtime training will come later.
  14. Give a reward for any small step or just encouragement. We used chocolate buttons. One button before the request (so he knew what he was going to get – he had the taste in his mind) and a second as a reward.
  15. Don’t feel you can’t go out. Get your child to sit on a towel in the car and take loads of changes of clothes, wet wipes and cleaning products. Stick to outdoor areas and make sure you have a pack of anti-bacterial wipes and kitchen towel in your bag – to clean the slide or other equipment in the event of an oops moment.
  16. Once you have your child going to the toilet start thinking about the other steps and add them on slowly, one at a time.
  17. Print out a picture sequence of what is required, and point to the stage you are doing.
  18. The whole process is going to take a long time. Break it up into small tasks. It will all be worth it.
  19. Be creative and use your initiative. I have heard people planting wee trees for their sons to encourage weeing standing up. Use your child’s interests and remember the main objective – getting wees and poos in the toilet.
  20. Don’t give up.
An example picture sequence to use when adding on the additional steps

Has this helped you? Can it help someone else?
Share with your friends or support groups.

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Autism Strategy

Bikes Are Not Just For Riding!

Rhys sat on the floor, his balance bike in front of him, on its side, the wheels spinning.

I looked at the bike, with an image in my mind, of him sitting on the seat, his legs pushing off the ground as he glided down the small path at the top of our road. An image I had seen of other children his age, while out with their family. High pitch screams of excitement as they felt the warm air glide through their hair.

Rhys however continued to sit and spin.

I knew he was happy, to him moving wheels was just the best thing ever. But somewhere in my heart, I wanted him to enjoy the movement of the bike and the feeling of freedom, it taking him on an adventure.

I consulted Google for advice, and there were a few printouts about riding a bike. They were structured into a number of pictures which sequentially formed a story, with a beginning, middle and end. The social story around the activity seemed like a good idea, so I printed it out and arranged it ready to show Rhys.

Bending down to his level, I held up a picture of a little boy. He was wearing his helmet, with the words ‘ride my bike’ stencilled in bold above the image. “Rhys, ride bike?” I asked.

Rhys’ eyes remained transfixed on the movement of the wheels, ensuring their continuous motion with a swift flick of his hand every time they started to slow down.

He did not acknowledge my picture.

I held up the second picture in the sequence. The boy was now climbing onto the bike, the words ‘sit on seat’ stencilled once again in bold above the image. “Rhys sit on bike?” I asked, taking the bike in my hands and lifting it up onto its wheels.

My social story suddenly took a different turn. Rhys got angry! His wheels had stopped moving. His fun had ended with no explanation except for some crazy woman holding up pieces of unrelated paper! He pulled the balance bike towards him, letting it fall back onto the floor. Lifting his hand he spun the wheel once again, and watched it move.

No fancy social story printed off the Internet was going to work. I realise that I would need to accept that objects didn’t necessarily need to be used in he way they were advertised.

Later that day we sat watching Peppa Pig. She was on the way to the dentist, every step of her journey described in her own little bossy way. The journey in the car, the waiting room, the dentist’s chair – it was all methodically described, with a happy ‘jump in muddy puddles’ ending.

I had an idea.

I grabbed my phone and searched. It didn’t take long, but I found a Peppa Pig episode where the family went on a bike ride. They had a race, they had fun while seated on their bikes.

I put the episode on the telly and we watched it on repeat. Then I searched YouTube and found a video of a little boy on his balance bike. I played the clip in the background as Rhys spun the wheels on his bike. After a while, I saw his eyes notice the screen, and then start to watch the movement of the bike as the boy rode up and down the road.

Picking up the bike, I placed it in front of Rhys, and he reluctantly sat on the seat as I pushed him over the carpets and around the house.

He rode his bike just like Peppa, just like the little boy on YouTube.

A social story does not need to be a paper sequence of pictures. It can be anything to describe and explain an activity or social norm.  Being in the technology age, I used the device at the end of my finger tips. A hub of resources just waiting for a search term.

We still have a long way to go on the bike. But we will take one step at a time. Thanks to Peppa, she got us one step forward.

🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲

Read about social stories and how to use them here.

Let me know your thoughts. Go to Facebook and comment if you have tried any strategies.  Share so others can try them too.