Category Archives: Day Out

Day Out

The BAPS Blog Awards: A Night to Remember

The BAPs (Bloody Awesome Parents) Blog Awards are an event put on by My Family My Needs every year, recognising SEN (Special Educational Needs) Bloggers across the UK. It is an amazing event that I never thought I would have the pleasure of attending, let alone walking away with an award!

How I Got There

It started back in the Summer when an email dropped into my inbox., the subject, “Congrats you are a finalist”, and my heart beat a thousand beats in astonishment. There were a number of categories within the awards, and I had been nominated for “Blog Post with the Biggest Impact” – Wow!

Read the nominated post below:

Autism: The Word No One Would Talk About!

Out of all the thousands of bloggers, to actually have a post out of the millions of blog posts in circulation to be recognised, was just huge. But the strange thing was that if I had to choose the post I thought had the biggest impact, the one nominated, would not be that one. It highlighted to me that every post I wrote resonated with someone, and this post had impacted someone massively.

A Bump in the Road

The Blog Awards were scheduled for October, a Thursday night, and I pulled out all the stops to make sure I could be there in person. I was not a person who got nominated for these sorts of things. I am an IT architect, doing logical technical designs, not someone who was up there with the best in parenting or psychology subjects – but here I was on a list of finalists for something that was so close to my heart.

But things don’t always go to plan, and due to national rail strikes and another hit of the dreaded covid, the awards had to be postponed.

The Night Arrived

The 2022 awards were hosted in the amazing Athena in Leicester. The building is amazing, with big doors entering into a foyer. As we walked into the second set of doors, the place was lit up and I was overcome with nostalgia. The bar was to the left of us, and down a few steps was a hustle and bustle of over a hundred people, all seated at round tables laid with dinner wear, wine, and treats. Four massive letters were illuminated on the stage – B A P S.

I held my husband’s arm with nerves as we made it to table number 5, our seats for the night, or at least for the next few hours. I didn’t know anyone, except that I was aware of some other blogs I followed being there too. Little did I know, that I would leave having met some truly inspiring people, some who shared their journies through their blogs, and others who had impacted our communities through amazing actions of their own.

The Winners Announced

It did not take long before Cerrie Burnell took to the stage and gave us all an introduction to the awards, then it was straight in, with my category up first. I don’t think my heart has beat so hard and fast ever in its life. I was up against three other amazing bloggers, and reading their stories made me believe that I did not have a chance in this, their words and pictures of their journeys were inspiring.

But here I was.

As the words were read, I realised that they sounded familiar, but still, I couldn’t bring myself to think they could be speaking about me. The words were being spoken to over a hundred people, and they were all listening. Then it was confirmed, “The winner is A&Me”

I stood and walked to the stage, and all I could think was “Do not fall over”. You think of strange things in times of stress and anxiety, and these were my only thoughts, not to make a tit of myself!

When you type and share your story with thousands, it is done behind a screen, and your words are sent out into the social networking world, comments and likes come back, but standing on the stage, holding an award made me realise that there are real people on the other side of the screen. There are people reading my stories, and my posts so make an impact.

As I returned to my seat, I just looked at the award in my hand. I had won a blog award, something I never thought was possible. I knew that my posts were helping others and I was so grateful to be recognised for them.

The BAPS blog awards recognise SEN bloggers and contributors to raising awareness of disability every year. Details can be found on the My Family Our Needs site.

Day Out

Autism Days Out: Cardiff International Pool

The Cardiff International Pool is located in the heart of Cardiff Bay, and along with its gym facilities, it hosts two swimming pools – a 50m pool for the serious swimmer and the leisure pool – which is where we headed for.

We have been going to the Cardiff International Pool for many years, as part of their swimming lesson program which has seen all three of my children enter the water from just a few weeks old, and well into the higher levels of component swimming. The venue’s adaptability to our needs was exemplary, allowing us to remain in the parent and toddler class with my son Rhys, who is autistic, well past the cut-off age of 3 years old. Their understanding of safety and support for our situation meant we could stay in the pool with Rhys and give him the experience he needed.

Besides the swimming lessons, Cardiff International Pool has great facilities as part of their leisure pool.

The Pool Venue

When we arrived at the pool, we parked in the free parking across from the pool, the parking is free, and there is also plenty of disabled parking if you are using your blue badge. A predestination crossing takes you across to the pool allowing for some great engagement opportunities where we get my son to push the button.

Communal change rooms

The change rooms are communal with cubicles to get changed. This is great as Rhys is getting older and I don’t know how we would be able to do split change rooms going forward. Lockers are available for your items, and we used our £1 coin to secure our bags.

The leisure pool has a large beach-type entrance to the left, which merges with the large swimming pool. This continues to the right into a lazy river and jacuzzi area. There are no inflatables available, so make sure you take your own if needed. During the times when the slides are on, there is a lot of gushing water and sprays which can be scary and noisy, we managed to avoid these by going around to the right of the pool.

It is a large area and the acoustics mean it is quite echoey and loud to the senses. It can also be very crowded and loud when busy. Rhys tends to always have his hands over his ears when entering, but he is able to overcome this due to his love for swimming and slides. It is worth noting this and if it is something your child can tolerate otherwise invest in some ear plugs if they are happy wearing them. There are currently no quiet or ALN sessions available, so it is the general public sessions that you will need to attend and contend with the standard noises and crowds.

All the slides are enclosed

To the other side of the pool are the stairs to the slides. There are four flumes. Three are standard flumes, but fast and thrilling, and end in a water trench so you do not have to be concerned about your child entering a pool at the end of the slide in cases where your child is not a strong or component swimmer. The fourth descends into a big bowl where you spin around and drop into a deep pool – this one is only for the strong swimmer and has a height minimum of 1.3m. Every flume is totally encased and not open – this was big for us, as I am petrified to send Rhys down a slide and then have him stop and stand up – massive safety risk! No worries about these ones. The stairs to the top have glass safety barriers about a meter high, which were fine for us and kept Rhys safe.

Unfortunately, there is no queue jumping, and if you are there during busy times you can wait up to ten minutes for your turn on a slide.

Cardiff International Pool Lazy river

A good tip for a quieter experience is to go on Christmas Eve or Easter Sunday. Sessions are also booked via the website and you can see how many people have booked and look for a quieter slot.

At the top of the slides, you wait your turn. With the three flumes, me and Rhys were sent through together and I was given time to get Rhys on the slide, and push him down before running and jumping down my own fume. This was great as I could go down at the same time as Rhys and not panic that someone was going to jump in front of me.

If you have a younger child (shorter than 1.2m) there is a small slide into the shallow water which is great fun.

If you are not into the thrill of the slides, the pool is extensive with shallow and deeper sections. The lazy river is also a great addition with a jacuzzi area to chill in with loads of bubbles.

Summary of Facilities

  • Three high-speed water flumes exit into a water trench/bath, so no fear of your child plunging into a pool if they can’t swim or are not strong/component swimmers.
  • One Superbowl slide for the strong component swimmer.
  • During term time fumes are only on Wednesday and Friday evenings and all day Saturday and Sunday. In holidays fumes are on every day. Check the website for details, and not differences in England and Welsh half terms.
  • If your child is under 1m they can ride with you.
  • Fumes are fully enclosed so no safety worries.
  • Multiple lifeguards on duty.
  • Carers get in free (presentation of proof is required)
  • Change rooms are communal, take £1 for the locker.
  • For quieter times go on football or rugby match days, Easter Sunday, or Christmas Eve, or check the booking site to see when it is not fully booked.

Location:

The Cardiff International pool is located at Olympian Dr, Cardiff CF11 0JS

Website: More information can be found via the Cardiff International Pool website and times to book sessions at the pool

Autism Strategy, Day Out, Uncategorized

I’m Never on the Bench – I’m Always in the Game

I always envied those parents who sat and chatted on the side at soft play centers, parks, or poolsides. They would catch up on social gossip or chill with the other parents, getting a moment to relax and be themselves.

I have never been one of those people. Well, at least since my children could walk!

When your child will leave a venue, just because they are done. Or go to the toilet at the other end of the facility, because they need to go. Never telling you their intent or agenda, I am always left with a feeling in my gut that no words can describe.

That feeling that your child is missing.

When your child doesn’t understand the concept of waiting or personal space, and cannot advocate for their challenges because words are not part of their repertoire, that’s why I am there. That’s why I am at my son’s side, to be his voice, to show him the direction, to make sure he is safe.

His autism brings challenges which I am there to help him overcome.

It means I am always active.

It means I am always involved.

It means I take part in things I may just be a bit old to enjoy, but get the thrill of childhood memories and enjoy my son’s smile at being his partner in crime.

I have crawled through soft play tunnels and got stuck in the clothes wringers when there was no other way to turn without taking my eyes off my teammate. I have sped down water slides, gripping my son with my legs as he sat in front of me on a blow-up tube. His screams of excitement as he shouts, “Hold on tight” and “Weeeeeee” – statements mimicked from me when I was trying to entice excitement and fun.

Then there are activities I have taken part in on my own. The need to understand the process, the feel, and the method, to allow me to construct a strategy to get my son involved next time or years in the future. I have scaled climbing walls and ridden bikes down steep inclines and taken on physical sports like judo, letting fully grown men throw me over their shoulders and end in their hysterics at my ear-piercing screams.

I have had my limits, but they are beyond the standard parent’s limit. I have taken part to let my son be included. Included for now and for the creation of options in the future.

I am not the parent who sits on the bench.

I am not the parent who drinks tea and talks about the latest series release, because to be honest, my television watching mostly consists of Peppa Pig and Numberblocks. I know nothing about the end of Breaking Bad or which housewife has had the biggest crisis!

But I do know that I am doing my best for my son, and to be honest, having a whale of a time doing new stuff myself.

So get up off the bench and live life. Because living brings opportunity, and opportunity creates memories you will treasure forever.

Our children can experience everything they want, sometimes they just need a little bit of support, encouragement and a teammate at their side

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Day Out, Popular Post

We Don’t Eat Out – Our Review of the Red Lion llandyfaelog

We don’t eat out!

But you were recommended to us, by our holiday host, as serving the best Sunday lunch around. So I guess we had to take the risk!

And you didn’t disappoint, with my son being in agreement, when he was served four sausages on a plate. No veg, no chips, no bread or butter!

Just four sausages which were consumed as he wandered around your pub. Sitting at one empty table and then locating to another. It was exactly what we had asked for. You met our requirement with no question, just a smile and as many sausages that he wanted.

I loved your barman’s smile as my son removed a bar mat from the counter. It’s coarse texture providing the perfect sensory input for his little fingers. The non verbal gesture told me you had no issue with the rearrangement of your bar accessories. You just smiled at his calmness and acceptance in your environment.

You made no comment about my boy’s constant movement around the bar area, you were happy that he was happy and comfortable, and it didn’t need words to show your acceptance, by happily letting him sneak behind the bar. There were no comments of “No kids behind here” or the face of dissatisfaction, as I have seen in other venues, you just smiled and joked about him helping out, offering him a job as long as he could manage to pour a good pint!

I am not sure he passed that interview requirement 🙂

You let me eat my Sunday dinner at the outside table, the table in the corner, at the bar from a tall bar stool, and then watched it as I had to dash after my boy before he disappeared up the stairs. My food was always waiting where I had left it, never cleared away or questioned as to its constant transportation around your restaurant.

My son was happy, he had his connection to Netflix, from your free WiFi (code displayed so I didn’t even have to ask!). This was the ultimate settler for him, the ability for him to shut out the new smells, sounds and sights while his body regulated and then allowed him to ditch the phone and investigate the new feels and places.

You didn’t even blink an eyelid at our uniqueness as a family, maybe it is because you get more trouble from the bloke down the road after a couple of Stella’s, but I didn’t know that. We did however not start any pub brawls, so I guess we made a reasonably good impression?

We don’t eat out as a family. We don’t because every trip out is a gamble. It is a risk because of how society sees my son. Of how triggers, which are a result of societies ways, can so easily result in meltdown.

Thank you for being a place of acceptance.

Oh and thanks for the larger than normal glass of wine… I think you realised I needed it.

Thanks for the hospitality Red Lion, Llandyfaelog . We will pop in again if we pass

Day Out, Uncategorized

Autism Communication: When Physical Communication is All You Have

Rhys pushed a little girl today.

She was behind him on the slide, waiting her turn, but still slightly too close for my son’s liking.

She wanted her turn, but my blonde haired boy was taking his time, not considering the queue, but rather just doing his own thing.

She came into his space, and he non-verbally communicated with a little push. Nothing violent. Nothing harmful or malicious. Just a message of how he was feeling. A physical gesture for a boy who can’t communicate in words, like all the other children in the playground.

Once Rhys had descended the metal tunnel, he jumped up and run back for a second go. I watched the girl reach the bottom, she stood up and ran towards her mum, then pointed to the boy in the bright yellow jacket.

I felt a nervousness deep in my gut. Would this lead to a conversation or be brushed off as playground banter? It had happened before, and it was a lottery over what parent would be next in the line up of conversation.

But this time I didn’t wait to find out. Rhys was off to the swings, so I ran to help him out. A get-out-of-jail-free-card that I gladly accepted on this occasion.

I don’t agree in playground violence. If the push had been harmful, I would have been the first one up there to demand my son to say sorry – in his own creative way. But it wasn’t. It was a little nudge, a hint at his uncomfortable feelings of her presence in his space.

This is what I deal with. I don’t sit on the side at playgrounds or play centres. I lurk around the edges watching. I follow my son with my eyes to make sure he is safe. Little kids are safe, and that he is supported where he needs to be.

Maybe one day I can take my eyes off him for a second. Maybe one day I can sit on the side and have a coffee or a catch-up or a chill.

Maybe one day.

But not today.