Tag Archives: music

Autism Life

Can We Let It Go?

In 2013, the epic film telling us all to just ‘Let It Go’ hit our screens, with crazy round bellied snow men and reindeer with strange impressions crunching carrots. Little girls ran down hallways in snowflake encrusted gowns, trains of material temping the naughty foot to entice an unfortunate trip up.

For those without kids, you may think the magic of Elsa faded as those young children grew up. But I can reassure you that the magic still goes on and she has still not let it go!

My youngest (now three) is the next generation of frozen enthusiasts, even getting hooked on the sequel (dvd release), and my eldest from the first generation of frozen excitement, still has the magic in his bones.

Santa was thoughtful this year and sent an amazing Easy Keyboard Tunes book of Disney songs, including all the classics, from bouncing Tiggers to the tune of the monkey wanting the secret of man’s red flower. But it would not have been five star Amazon rated without the Frozen classic, and thankfully it did not disappoint.

The book’s crisp pages were turned with each song receiving a gasp of excitement, by my eldest, as he marvelled at the selection of choice.

“This one he shouted” and placing the book on its holder, he lined up his fingers on the keys.

Now my middle son, Rhys, loves music, but has become quite particular about the songs which can be sung and anyone in the house striking up a tune. Many reasons spin through my mind, from the lack of perfect pitch his audience emanates, to the song versions not correlating to what he has playing in his head. His autism means he likes things in a certain way, and lack of tune does not rank highly in his book.

Music has always been part of his life.

But we carry on, and find new songs which he doesn’t know, therefore ensuring the tune can form a new connection and experience for him. We have got very creative over the years.

So when my eldest decided to strike a note it was going to be interesting to see Rhys’ reaction.

The first few notes started to be played representing the first words of the classic tune we had all grown to love (or is it hate?) As the notes moved through the song, in a clunky, unusual flow, I could hear the familiarity in it.

My eldest didn’t sing the words, the concentration of the first run through of the notes was enough at this moment. But as we listened, a tiny voice who had never sung the song in his life suddenly came to life in the next room.

🎵 Let it go, let it go … 🎵

“Did you hear that?” I shouted to my eldest.
“Rhys is singing the song” he responded.

We both beamed with pride at what we had heard, these moments are magical in our house, the sudden demonstration of development or proof that we are moving forward with engagement, speech and interaction. The sign that we are doing things right!

We immediately both broke into tune, ecstatic that Rhys had picked up on all the years of frozen excitement and was ready to experience in a joint love.

🎵Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care what they’re going to say …🎵

We were both belting it out, the keyboard notes all over the place, our inability to multi task so early on in our musical immaturity. We were bopping around thinking we were West end stars, both understanding the leap forward Rhys had made in recognising a piece of music and then assigning the words.

But our impromptu party was abruptly halted, as Rhys entered the room and screamed full pelt at us. We felt like misbehaved school kids who had taken a bit of classroom jubilee a step too far, the noise trailing down the corridors to the heads office.

The singing stopped, the dancing halted, and my eldest clawed back the excitement placing his fingers calmly back on the black and ivory to play the notes properly.

But the words didn’t stop,

🎵 Let it go, let it go 🎵

Sang Rhys, all on his own without the fuss of us crazy nut cases!

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The French Apology

Mummy, Rhys pulled my hair” shouts a little voice from the other room. I run in quickly. Rhys and his sister are both seated at the computer watching their favourite show – Peppa Pig.

Rhys continues to watch the show with a face of innocence, but I know he did it. He gets annoyed at fluffy stuff, and hair that is not pulled back neatly into a pony, and tossles down a three year olds face. If he wants her to stop talking he touches her mouth, in a method that is so much easier than using speech. Because talking is difficult for my son, communication doesn’t come easy.

I believe in teaching the difference between right and wrong, there is always a lesson to be learnt. Those lessons can be just simple ones, letting a child learn at their own pace, and move at the level of their ability. But I believe that as parents we have a role to teach and find ways to ensure our children grow up to be adults who care and do good.

Before Rhys was verbal I had implemented a method where he had to apologise for wrong doing. I was creative in the process and ensured Rhys understood when he had done wrong. I would change the tone of my voice and use only one word – ‘naughty’. Then I would get Rhys to give the inflicted party a hug as a physical sorry.

Unfortunity the hug has remained as he has become verbal. That’s the thing with autism. Everythibg I teach Rhys takes ages, and hours of dedication, but as soon as Rhys gets it, it sticks. So to change the process that has been implemeted or tweak it, takes just as long!

So sorrys still come with a hug!

The face of innocence

“Rhys, naughty. Say sorry to Jessie” I request as two innocent big blue eyes look up at me. He acknowledges my request, leans into his sister and gives her a hug, but at the same time gives her a big smooch on the lips.

“Uuug! Rhys” comes the response. I ignore my daughter’s over dramatised response and happy with the apology delivered, I leave them to continue with their television show.

Later that night, as I gather the kids to bed, I announce “Ok everyone, say good night to Daddy!”

Each little human approaches their father and gives him a cuddle. As Rhys approaches to say goodnight, he leans in and gives his father a kiss.
“Uuug!” shouts my husband.

“What?” I asked taken back by the reaction.

“He just slipped me some tongue!”

Well looks like my three year old may have got a bit more than she bargained for earlier today! Things have all gone a bit French in this household!

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Striking a Chord!

We have a little toy keyboard, which we got as one of the very first presents when children filled our house. It has sat in the music box and still gets pulled out from time to time for a bit of a living room jam. From before Rhys could walk, he has been attracted to music, he played the keyboard key by key with meticulous precision, in comparison to his siblings who did the standard toddler multiple key smash!

Times have moved on, and although the small toy keyboard still remains with the other instruments, we have upgraded to a full size unit, with full size piano keys, beats and lights.

“Ready?”

“Ready” shouts Rhys.
I position my hand on the keyboard and press the G key, initiating the tune. Two little hands are placed on his head, as Rhys enacts the song, now for the fifteenth time!

“Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes” he sings. Each word linked into the correct key as I move up and down the keyboard. As I come to the end of the tune, I pause once again and a little voice announces, “Ready” his hands on his head ready for another round.

I have not yet got him to play any notes, but this is a new development. A task of engagement where Rhys is asking me to play the song, and as I play he joins in with the words and actions. Bit like a duo 🙂

My plan is to use Rhys’ love for music, and through my playing introduce him to the love of pressing the keys in sequence himself. I am no Mozart or Chopin but I am proud of my lockdown goal of playing the keyboard. So far I have three songs in my musical cv – Heads/Shoulders, Wheels on the Bus and Twinkle Twinkle! So not quite at the level to knock out a Sunday Service, but I am confident that I can play one of those songs by ear the next time a piano presents itself!

There is a lot of research around the strong link between autism and musical ability. It will be lovely to see Rhys play one day, but for now the engagement and fun we are having is enough.

It is like an old movie or Christmas card as I sit at the modern piano playing while everyone gathers around and sings – well that is the image I am going to portray to everyone! It is actually a bit more chaotic and repetitive. But we are both having fun.

Watch out Von Trapps, we got this!