He ran.

The cars flew down to his left, but I stayed calm until the point I felt he had gone far enough.

“Rhys, stop!” I shouted. Then I watched his feet continue to motion forwards a few paces before he stopped, and turned to face me.

When Rhys was three years old, preverbal and unable to process any language, we had the objective for him to talk, to understand and to communicate. But those things take time, and they are still a work in process today.

Knowing we were in it for the long game, we continued with the speech therapist’s guidance and methods. But we did something else too.

I was worried about safety. I wanted engagement. I needed calm transition.

So we focused on three words.

Stop. Look. Finished.

I wanted to build up my son’s speech and understanding. I wanted to be able to communicate with him. But those things take time, and I wanted to focus on key areas that we could make a difference now.

So we focused on the three words.

When Rhys ran, I would run after him. I would stop him with my arms and hold him still. Crouching down to his level, I would say “Stop!” Just the one word, clearly associated with the action.

When I saw a duck, a cow, a car, a tree, I would crouch down again, take his hand and use it to point to the object. “Look!” I would say. Over time I would add the name of the object. But the word “look” started to make him notice objects and his surroundings.

When activities were to end, I would use my paper traffic lights, and announce last go and “Finished”. It was a word I started to assign to the end of activities, the end of food requests and a statement of ‘no more’.

Three words allowed me to introduce safety, engagement and transition. I was happy to wait for more words, but the three others could let us progress and live our lives.

Always focus on one goal at a time. The communication will come. It is amazing what we were able to achieve with just three words.

Three words we used constantly over and over and over again. Repetition, repetition, repetition. Until my son associated them with an action.

What three words will you use?