The lady said ” Would you mind me asking?”

Which was a strange question, when you don’t know what was about to be asked.

But I knew, so I nodded and said, “Of course”

I knew because my son was struggling. He was scared and anxious of the walk ahead, a place we hadn’t been in a while. A place where he didn’t have his marble run or favourite shows for comfort, just the trees and the dusty path.

He was crying, so we cuddled him to reduce his anxiety. Taking only a couple of steps and then giving a cuddle top-up, a burst of natural endorphins to keep him on the right side of the boundary of meltdown.

The lady looked at us and smiled as she warmly asked, “Is he autistic?”

“Yes he is” I answered calmly, cuddling Rhys one more time.

“You are doing an amazing job” she added.

As we walked on a few more steps and the cuddles became less and the gaps between them became further and further apart, I knew we were OK. I knew where my son’s line between anxiety and way-too-much began and ended. It had taken years of trial and error and getting to know the signs.

Rhys had just needed the cuddle-support method to get past his first hurdle.

As we walked hand in hand I thought about the lady’s question. I want more people to ask about Autism. I want it to become acceptable to ask a question if someone is thinking it and give acknowledgement of the hard. It helps sharing knowledge. It reduces the fear of the word.

I knew nothing about autism five years ago. I had heard the word but never been given any context. If the word had not been so secretive and unspoken maybe I would have gained acceptance quicker? Maybe I would have been able to understand my son’s world sooner?

Once we got past our the initial tense part of our walk, the stroll through the trees was calm and engaging. We took our time and enjoyed the outdoors. A successful trip that had unfolded as a result of a cleverly thought out plan and strategies we had learnt and others we had created ourselves.

Well until I said “Rhys, I see horses”, and then he told me to bugger off in his own special way!

I guess we are still have a bit of work on the “I see” activity goal. 😄