Category Archives: Guest Post

Guest Post

To My Beautiful Boy

Guest Post by Lauren Morfett

To my beautiful boy, 

I hope you realise as you grow up how special you are, to us and to everyone you meet. Know that your little footprints will make a massive impact on this world. Know that your smile adds colour into my grey days and that your laugh is my favourite sound in the whole wide world.

You make us so proud in everything you do, life can be really hard for you but you never give up and that amazes me. I love watching you as you go about your day, you see beauty in everything you touch, you take notice of the little things that I am often too busy too see most of the time. I love the way you watch the way the trees move in the wind with pure amazement on your face and the way you spin around really fast but never get dizzy. You remind me to just take a minute and stop what I am doing and just breathe in the fresh air and really look at the good in the world.

When you sing it makes my heart melt because your voice is something we waited so long to hear, it’s beautiful and I could listen to it all day.

These last four years you have come so far, you have learned so many new skills and you have opened up your world and allowed us be a part of it, we are so thankful of that. Always know you can do anything you want to, the sky is your limit, I have no doubt in my mind you will do great things. I hope you know that nothing you do will ever go unnoticed, we will always celebrate every single thing you do because you are an absolute star to us Isaac and don’t ever forget it.

You have been lucky enough to not have any understanding of the painful things that happen around us,  I am grateful for the innocence you will keep because of that. You have no concept of fear and whilst that can be scary to us it also means you will never be held back by it, fear won’t control you like it does so many others and that’s kind of amazing to think about.

Always know that being a little different does not mean you are less than anyone else, don’t let other people defy who you want to be. Autism is a big part of you but that doesn’t mean that is all you are, you are so much more than that, to us you are just Isaac, our perfect four year old little boy who loves the outside and who has known the alphabet since he was one years old.

The struggles you face can leave you feeling lost but know that mummy will always find you, no matter what, I will always be there to pick you up and bring you back home every single time. Know that on days like that mummy tries her best but sometimes that isn’t good enough, it just means tomorrow I will try even harder for you.

When you are sad it breaks my heart, when you cry because your emotions are bigger than you at the end of the night when your asleep I cry too, for the things as a mother I can’t make better for you, that kills me the most. Know that even if I can’t make it easier for you I will always hold you tight and stroke your hair like I always do until your beautiful smile returns to your perfect face.

Know that we will always be there fighting your corner, we will make sure you get the best of everything this world has to offer. We will be your voice when you need us to be, we will make sure we shout when you are not being heard. We will always fight for you to have the same opportunities as everyone else because you deserve that, it is your right.

We will always be thankful you chose us to be your family, you changed our lives in the best possible way. You gave us a purpose, I can’t remember what life was like before you, it’s like you have always been a part of us. I am so excited to see where you end up, never change baby, your absolutely perfect. I hope Know that we love you and your brother so much more than you will ever know ❤️
All my love foreverMummaX

Written by Lauren Morfett: Wife, blogger and Mummy to two little boys aged 4 and 11 months in the UK. Learning from my beautiful son Isaac every single day ❤️

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Guest Post

Is This Our Forever?

Guest Post by Ellie Whetzel

A good friend recently asked me what kinds of things Leo was interested in these days? 

“Toy Story, like always,” I responded, chuckling at the thought of how often I’d responded similarly over the years.

For as long as I can remember, Leo has been transfixed by the popular series of films; his love for Sheriff Woody, Buzz, Andy, and the rest of the Pixar gang, have stood the test of time, resulting in a most impressive collection of Toy Story merchandise; from figurines, to plush dolls, books, t-shirts, and the like…But more importantly, they have provided a sense of connection and belonging burrowed within a world of characters, and friends that have bestowed comfort and companionship onto my boy for years…

“Cool Sheriff Woody doll,” I heard someone remark, as I turned to find two young men appearing to be in their mid to late teens, walking past us in the grocery aisle. I quickly scanned their expressions, as best I could with half their faces covered, searching for any signs of malintent, while my boy vocalized loudly, squealing as he twirled his Woody doll around furiously with excitement. 

As my gaze met one of the young men’s, he nodded knowingly, 
“Sheriff Woody is my favourite.” He commented, genuine kindness reflected in his tone as they continued on their way.

I looked over at my sweet boy, carrying his pal Woody securely within his grasp, just as he has since he was a young child.

I marvelled at how much my boy has grown since the day I bought him his first (of many) Sheriff Woody dolls; that moment etched in my memory, always. The joy radiating from his beautiful smile some 8 years ago remains woven in my now 10 year-old big boy’s being, personified by the clickity clack of Woody’s boots, each morning upon Leo waking.

Andy and I had a conversation a few years back about the future for Leo. At the time, Leo was primarily non-verbal, with a myriad of challenges that stifled any hopes that he might one day be able to live independently as an adult…Yet, as my amazing husband pointed  out then and continues to today, the future isn’t set in stone for any of us; Leo included, and we simply don’t know where Leo’s journey will take him years from now. 

It certainly isn’t up to us to write his story..

And while we still operate in many ways with this mindset, there comes a point where hope, and reality intertwine-

Leo’s Speech/Language delays remain immense. And while there is so much hope and pride in what he has accomplished, the reality is that along with Autism, progress is often paired with new and unexpected challenges, creating an ever-present roller coaster of thoughts and emotions…

Hope and pride is never extinguished, yet the years trickle by, and I find myself facing the stark realisation that in 8 years time, my sweet Leo will enter adulthood. 

My mind wanders to the reality of Guardianship once he turns 18…of Special Needs trusts, and all that looms in regards to caring for an adult with disabilities-

I worry about services- of how scarce they are once children like Leo “age out.” He will likely be able to attend school until he is 21 or 22. And then what? The options are limited and the worries associated  with how I will help my boy as he grows into a man, daunting.

8 years…

I have time, I suppose.

Yet, the memories of my boy holding his very first Sheriff Woody doll 8 years ago, are as vivid and clear as if they occurred just yesterday…

And I think once again of my friend’s question…

Will my answer remain the same 5 years from now? 10?

Will Leo still insist on taking his pal, Woody along with him on outings when he’s grown…and will there come a time in the not too distant future when thoughtful glances will turn to judgement, from those who don’t understand?

My 4 pound 9 ounce newborn, who now stands at eye level with him Mommy, holding out his hands and requesting “up” as he did from the time he could stand-

Despite the fact that to my dismay, I can no longer physically lift my boy, I’ll always be there to wrap my arms around him…even as he towers over me, I’ll be there.

To love and protect him…To advocate and teach the world about the beauty and wonder that is my boy.

If this is our forever, what a beautiful forever it will be.

About the Author: Ellie Whetzel is a wife, Mom, and blogger who writes about the ups, the downs, and everything in between of life with her extraordinary son, Leo, who is on the Autism Spectrum.

You can follow their journey on FaceBook at https://www.facebook.com/mylifewithleo/

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Guest Post

I Sobbed For So Many Reasons…

Guest Post by Sarah Halliday

“Hi Mummy”

“Hi Mummy” he said, looking straight at me, as he walked through the bathroom door to find me in the bath.

I stared back at my 6 year old minimally verbal son, mouth wide open, in utter disbelief.

And then I sobbed……

I sobbed because…well…let’s face it, it’s been a pretty difficult year.

I sobbed because it was the first time my son had said this to me.

I sobbed because of the years of therapy we had gone through to get to this point. The amount of hours spent holding out bubbles and waiting for the ready, steady….. GO!

I sobbed because for other families this is an everyday occurrence, but for us it is so rare.

I sobbed because of the countless courses and workshops and appointments I had attended on how to engage and play with my child in an attempt to initiate speech and encourage engagement.

I sobbed due to the many stories I had heard, and clung to, about when other children had started talking when they were 5/6/7 and at each birthday we were still waiting.

I sobbed because sometimes it’s all too overwhelming. The forms, the meetings, the new therapies, the sleepless nights, the forms……

I sobbed because I’m so tired.

I sobbed because sometimes it feels like there’s a glass wall between us, separating us from my world to yours, and some days I just want to smash it down into a million little pieces.

I sobbed because I saw a glimpse into our potential future, where we could talk and engage with each other.

I sobbed because…..it was such a happy moment for me…. full of hope and promise for our future together.

About the Author: Sarah is a mother to a very happy, lively 6 year old boy. Charlie was diagnosed with autism when he was 3 years old and they are still learning everyday. He now has a little sister who absolutely adores her older brother….he’s not so sure … 🙂

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Guest Post

My perfect boy in an imperfect world ❤️

1 Comment

Guest Post by Lauren Morfett

Everyday I ask myself was I the best mum I could be today
Did I help you learn what you needed to through play,
If you could tell me would you say that I could of done more, 
I do try to play with you but sometimes you just want to keep lining your toys on the floor. 
 
It kills me that you get so angry and upset,
I know I haven’t got it all figured out yet, 
I would love to be able to see the world through your eyes, 
To know what is hurting when I can’t stop your cries.
 
Sometimes I grieve for the things you will not do,
Even though I would never change one thing about you, 
It just makes me sad to see you struggle and regress,
I feel like my heart is being ripped in two whenever you are in distress. 
 
I love watching you jumping and spinning around,
I love that even with no words your voice is my favourite sound,
Your such a happy boy who deserves the best,
Your a star Isaac who shines so much brighter than all the rest. 
 
I hope you know that even when I am tired and stressed, 
The day you were born we were truly blessed,
Tonight I will wrap my arms around you baby and just hold you tight, 
There’s always tomorrow for me to get it right ❤️

Lauren Morfett is a mum of two learning every day about the beauty of autism. Isaac is 4 years old and an amazing kid who has taught her more about this world than anyone she knows. It can be hard and it can be a struggle but when he smiles everything is worth it ❤️

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Autism Life, Guest Post

Home is where the HEART is!

Guest Post by Emer O’Hara

There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!

These famous words from Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz have never rung so true in these unprecedented times we find ourselves in. Home is a haven, home is our safe place, home is where the heart is. But what happens when this safe space, this safe haven is all your non-verbal wonder understands. This is the home we have tried our very best to create for our 7, almost 8, year-old beautiful boy. 

His space in our busy family home of 7! (plus not forgetting our new puppy, Griffin). Home is chaotic, full of life, full of madness, full of jest, full of happiness and, sometimes, full of fear. Fear to think what might happen if we forget to lock all the doors and windows, ensure the back gate and front gate is securely closed, car keys are hidden and someone we trust (if not us) is constantly watching over our very own Buzz Lightyear! His safety is our first concern 24/7. This may sound restrictive, may sound overwhelming or controlled but yet it is our safe haven, a world which we have created as a large family, a home where we feel happy, a home where we can be free.  We have even moved 11,384 KM from one home in Singapore to another home here in Ireland but the essence of “our” home structure despite being in a different continent is still the same.  

This is a time in history where we hope all families can find their freedom, their `’tribe”, their happiness within their family homes. No-one could have imagined how this virus would change our existence, would change our everyday. We felt that way when our son was diagnosed with Autism, how would our days be spent, how would we protect our family, would we be able to do enough to keep him safe? The answer is yes, the human spirit, the human core, our basic instinct is to protect the ones we love whatever it takes. Having a child with different needs helped us clarify and remember this fact. 
Perhaps for some, COVID-19 may have awakened that clarity.

No judgement, no pleas for change, no words of wisdom only an understanding we can’t do things on our own. Life constantly shows us that. Change is inevitable, change is refreshing, change is evolving and most importantly we too must change to survive. There is no escape from this; we are thankful for the frontline staff who work tirelessly to keep us safe but they can not do this alone. Stay home, build your kingdom within your walls, feel it with love, music, laughter, poetry, dance, planting vegetables and Art. Let change be a word that inspires you rather than fear taking its hold!

Painting of Samson (his sister Hope found joy in ART during the lockdown and this is her version of her baby brother)

In my early days as Mama (17 years and counting these days), I filled my home with busyness, I ruled the roost with endless lists of things to do, that was a happy home I thought.  How this has changed; now home is where everyone living in it is able to feel safe and creates their own haven. For our two teens, it is chatting with their friends from around the world on SKYPE, for our eleven-year-old daughter, it is drawing, baking and watching her favourite Youtube videos, playing Minecraft and Homeschool in Heel’s day!! 


I must admit this Mama enjoyed that day too!!

Heels

For BuzzLightyear, our non-verbal wonder, it is digging up our garden (actually that would have upset me in the past but now well our new garden does need to be dug and re-levelled by someone) and walks by the beach or in the forest (all within our 5 km boundary that is). 

Max & Samson (he ain’t heavy he’s my BROTHER!!)

For us parents we are enjoying sitting in the garden, reading, wishing for red skies at night (soon to return we hope). Its been a long winter! We are trying our best to keep the calm within our walls yet aware Mother Earth is aching.

Red Skies

From the O’Hara Safe Haven to yours we conclude with this quote (and a lovely photo memory my Brother in Law snapped the last time he visited us from the UK). Oh, how we wish we could see family overseas again soon 🙁

“Many people spend too much time trying to be the captain of someone’s else’s boat. Learn to be a lighthouse and the boats will find their way”. 

LightHouse

Acknowledgements for images: Robert James O’Hara (LightHouse)

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